Weddings for two: Couples say no to the guest list, yes to fancy elopements

Weddings for two: Couples say no to the guest list, yes to fancy elopements - Last weekend while stalking some of my favorite wedding blogs, I came across a post highlighting a couple who had a stunning wedding. The bride wore an expensive gown, the groom looked dapper in his suit. The ceremony took place atop a mountain set next to a farmhouse. The photographer captured still shots of a beautiful bouquet and a well-appointed tablescape. The photos chronicled a truly romantic ceremony, but one thing was missing -- there wasn't a guest in sight!

Wedding planners are calling this trend weddings-for-two, pre-planned elopements where couples wed in private with all the frills of a celebration for 200 people, but a guest list of zero.

Some might call this trend oxymoronic and question why a couple would spend thousands of dollars and countless hours obsessing over details that will never be experienced by a single guest. Others may question whether or not it truly is a wedding-for-two if the photos end up on a blog (or Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) for millions of viewers to see, including the family and friends of the couple, who probably feel slightly offended that they weren't part of the day.

Research on the topic led me to a recent story covered on TODAY. Freelance writer and editor Wendy Grossman Kantor offers readers a candid account of why some couples are choosing to ditch the guest list in exchange for the fancy elopement.

According to the couples Kantor interviewed for the article: no guests equal no stress. Clearly, the newer generation of engaged couples are making their own rules. As I mentioned in an earlier post, we're actually paying for our own weddings, so why not get exactly what we want. For some, that 'want' means spending their budget on creating a day that's more about them and less about the distant cousins, coworkers, neighbors and their plus ones.

Personally, I can't wait to hit the dance floor at our reception and Cupid Shuffle with all of our wedding guests! Guests bring the fun factor. You can't have a party without them! ( boston.com )

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Six health benefits of kissing

Six health benefits of kissing - What makes the entire world melt away, gives you butterflies in your stomach, and makes your heart giddy with desire? A kiss, of course!

“I love kissing my boyfriend,” says Krysten Ritter, actress and star of the sitcom Don’t Trust the B---- in Apartment 23. “It connects you.” Kissing is what bonds people together — or if you’re a bad kisser, it’s what makes people run in the other direction. “During a lip-lock, the brain releases dopamine, which is responsible for feelings of desire and bonding,” says Dr. Yael Varnado, founder of Get Checked 4 Life, a nonprofit organization that provides access to health services for at-risk communities.

But there’s more to kissing than just a quick thrill and a little bonding with someone special. Kissing provides a range of health benefits, from increased metabolism to a longer life. “The chemicals released from a kiss heal not only physical but also emotional ‘boo-boos,’ and can keep you healthy and build up your immunity,” explains Dr. Varnado. It just goes to show you that the joys of kissing are more far-reaching than you think. Below, we list the biggest benefits from sharing a smooch with your sweetheart.

 

Benefit #1: Your pearly whites stay cleaner

Though it’s certainly no replacement for brushing your teeth, kissing can break down oral plaque and prevent cavities by stimulating the creation of saliva, which helps wash bacteria away from the tooth’s surface. “Kissing is nature’s cleansing process,” says Heidi Hausauer, spokesperson for the Academy of General Dentistry. “Saliva washes out the mouth and helps remove the cavity-causing food particles that accumulate after meals.” The minerals in saliva also help rebuild tooth enamel, thereby preventing decay. So not only does kissing give you cleaner teeth, but you could actually end up saving money on your dental bills, too.

Benefit #2: Keep a younger-looking face as you age

Speaking of saving money, you can say goodbye to Botox and acid peels (or at least cut down on those pricey anti-aging treatments). Ever notice how happy, loving couples still retain an air of youth, even as they grow older? The answer could be down to frequent kissing. Sex therapist and author Dr. Ava Cadell notes that “kissing can give you a facelift. We use over 30 facial muscles while kissing, which helps to keep muscles smooth and tight and prevents your cheeks from sagging.” Laurel House, author of QuickieChick’s Cheat Sheet to Life, Love, Food, Fitness, Fashion and Finance — on a Less-Than-Fabulous Budget, also likens kissing to a toning session for your face: “Like working out the muscles in your abs, working out your facial muscles can help tone and tighten them, minimizing the visible signs of aging.”

Benefit #3: A revved-up metabolism

In addition to providing a facial workout, kissing can also help you lose inches from your waistline, too. As you lean in for the kiss, you may feel as though your heart’s racing. It’s not just your imagination; it is beating faster. “As the heart beats faster, it releases adrenaline and other neurotransmitters in the blood. The boost in adrenaline increases your metabolism and helps burn extra calories,” says Dr. Varnado.

During a really passionate kiss, you can burn anywhere from two to five calories per minute, which is double your normal resting rate. Dr. Cadell put this to the test on the TV show, The Doctors. By hooking a kissing couple up to a heart monitor and calorie counters, Dr. Cadell found that over the course of an hour, they burned a combined total of 575 calories — or 287.5 calories each.

While you certainly can’t rely on kissing to help you lose a significant amount of weight, it might give your metabolism an extra boost and help shed a pound or two.

Benefit #4: Your immune system gets a healthy boost

Just like working out, kissing can boost your immunity. So if you’re a germophobe, listen up: “Swapping spit means swapping germs, and that is nature’s natural form of vaccination,” explains Dr. Varnado. “Being exposed to others’ germs causes your body makes antibodies against those germs, which can in turn lead to immunity and prevent illness.” This all holds true as long as you’re not kissing anyone with any diseases or cold sores present in his or her mouth, so make sure the object of your affection isn’t coming down with the flu before you pucker up.

Benefit #5: Improved mood and decreased stress levels overall

Ever notice how you feel after a good make-out session? It’s like you’re floating on cloud nine, all your cares melt away, and you feel like you could do anything. That’s because kissing releases nature’s antidepressant, oxytocin. Dr. Joshua Gizersky, founder and medical director of Vitality Logix Internal Medicine, says that “a passionate kiss will spike oxytocin, leading to better sex and orgasm.”

But kissing doesn’t just increase the production of feel-good chemicals in our bodies — it lowers our cortisol and cholesterol levels, too. “A study of cohabiting and married couples showed that an increased frequency of kissing decreases stress and cholesterol levels. Stress is a well-known risk factor for heart disease,” says Dr. Varnado. And a healthy heart means a longer life!

Benefit #6: A natural source of pain relief

Last but not least, kissing provides a natural form of pain relief. Before reaching for an aspirin the next time you’ve got a headache, grab your honey and lay on a big smooch instead. Dr. Varnado notes that “kissing releases natural chemicals in the body called endorphins, which can be more powerful than morphine to relieve pain” — without the all the negative side effects of using a narcotic, of course.

It seems that you already have all the tools and chemicals necessary to improve your health, feel better, and manage stress… right inside your own body. And all you need to do is plant a few kisses first! ( Match.com. )

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Six steps to rev up your marriage

Simple tips like getting enough sleep and exercise can help your sex life

Six steps to rev up your marriage -- Surprise! Even celebrities don't have the kind of hot movie sex that seems to set our standard for passion these days.

In real life, "there is no normal barometer for sexual activity," says Jan Shifren, M.D., an assistant professor of obstetrics, gynecology, and reproductive biology at Harvard Medical School, in Boston. "It's only when you feel distressed about it that you have a problem."

If your sex life is troubling you, the following solutions could help.

Get your z's

Snoring away and having passionate sex may seem like exact opposites, but experts insist that getting enough sleep is the number-one aphrodisiac. "It's important to feel rested, even if that means changing your schedule to include intimacy and fun at other times of the day," says Suki Hanfling, a certified sex therapist and the founder and director of the Institute for Sexuality and Intimacy, in Belmont, Mass.

Exercise

A good workout pumps up dopamine and, through a domino effect, may boost levels of testosterone, a hormone that can enhance libido, says Helen Fisher, Ph.D., an anthropologist at Rutgers University and author of the book Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love.

Hitting the gym can also make you feel sexier and more confident in bed, adds Sallie Foley, a senior clinical social worker in the Sexual Health Counseling Services at the University of Michigan Medical Center in Ann Arbor, as well as co-author of the book Sex Matters for Women: A Complete Guide to Taking Care of Your Sexual Self.

Go shopping

Spend a little "mad" money on yourself, says Sandra Leiblum, Ph.D., a professor of psychiatry and obstetrics and gynecology and the director of the Center for Sexual and Relationship Health at the Robert Wood Johnson Medical School, in New Jersey. "Take the time to discover what turns you on, from silky-smooth satin pajamas to a Victorian bustier," she says.

If you're into it, women-friendly erotica can help get you in the mood. Vibrators are a solid choice, too, Leiblum says, because they allow you to explore your sexuality in private. They also help maintain the elasticity of the vaginal walls, which becomes important as women age.

See your doctor

She can help determine the origin of your problem. If you're experiencing pain during intercourse, for instance, this could indicate a medical condition or a drop in estrogen levels, which naturally decline with aging, Dr. Shifren says. Your doctor may also recommend a qualified relationship counselor or sex therapist for you to talk to. (Or you can visit the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists to find a therapist yourself).

Check your medicine cabinet

Common antidepressants like Prozac and Paxil may lift your mood, but they can kill your sex drive. Certain prescription painkillers, antianxiety medications, and even laxatives can also zap your libido.

Someday, that will change, says Leiblum, who is also the author of Getting the Sex You Want: A Woman's Guide to Becoming Pleased, Proud, and Passionate in Bed. She predicts that in the next decade we will have "clean drugs" that don't interfere with one's sex drive.

Until then, take heart: Even if your doctor recommends that you continue your current medication, you can still enjoy sex. You'll just need more time and stimulation to become aroused and achieve orgasm, Hanfling says.

Take your time

You've heard it before, but it's worth saying again: Be patient with your partner and yourself as you work to make things better. "Sex is like cooking," Hanfling says. "The end result can be delicious, but it's important to savor the steps along the way." (Health.com)

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New Drug Extends Survival for Men With Advanced Prostate Cancer

New Drug Extends Survival for Men With Advanced Prostate Cancer -- For men with advanced hormone-resistant prostate cancer who have also failed chemotherapy, the new drug Zytiga (abiraterone acetate) along with the steroid prednisone appears to boost survival, researchers report.

Based on data from the ongoing clinical trial, Zytiga was approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration in April. It works by inhibiting the production of the male hormone testosterone, which promotes the growth of cancer cells. In this regard, the drug mimics hormone therapy.

Zytiga "prolonged overall survival in this patient population that had extremely limited therapeutic options after chemotherapy," lead researcher Dr. Fred Saad, chief of urology at Notre-Dame Hospital in Montreal, said during a Monday morning press conference.

Men taking the drug combination had an average survival of 14.8 months, compared with 10.9 months for men taking a placebo.

"Abiraterone represents a valuable treatment option for patients with metastatic, castration [hormone]-resistant prostate cancer who had been treated previously with chemotherapy, with very manageable treatment-related toxicity," Saad said.

The study was published in the May 26 issue of the New England Journal of Medicine. The findings had also been presented May 16 at the American Urological Association's annual meeting, in Washington D.C.

The study included 1,195 men with prostate cancer who did not respond to hormone therapy and had failed earlier chemotherapy. The researchers, from 147 hospitals across 13 countries, randomly assigned the men to take either Zytiga plus prednisone, or a placebo.

The drug combination was well tolerated and resulted in less fatigue, back pain and spinal compression among the men taking it, compared with the placebo, Saad said.

The most common side effects among those taking Zytiga and prednisone were lower levels of white blood cells, fluid retention, low potassium levels, abnormal liver function tests, high blood pressure and heart problems, the researchers noted.

A one-month supply of 120 pills of Zytiga costs $5,000, said Kelly McLaughlin, a spokeswoman for Centocor Ortho Biotech Inc., the drug's maker and a sponsor of the study.

"This study tells us that there is a form of hormonal therapy, abiraterone, that works in people who had standard hormonal therapy and chemotherapy," said prostate cancer expert Dr. Anthony D'Amico, chief of genitourinary radiation oncology at Brigham and Women's Hospital in Boston.

"It will provide people with late-stage disease with an opportunity for an extended survival that they didn't have before. I can't say it's a home run because it's only a few months improvement," he added.

Very aggressive prostate cancer may be able to make its own testosterone, which the cancer cells need to grow. "Zytiga blocks that," D'Amico explained.

"This drug provides longer life and better quality of life to men with very advanced prostate cancer," D'Amico said. "There are studies now to see if this drug will improve cure rates in men with advanced, but not metastatic [cancer that has spread to other organs], prostate cancer," he added. ( HealthDay News )

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Taking Care of a 'Hairy' Situation

Taking Care of a 'Hairy' Situation - It's funny how something so natural and universal can lead to so much discussion and opinion: why we have it; what we should do with it; why we even care -- all seem to be topics of discussion. The thing is, it’s not exactly appropriate dinner conversation.

Over the years, its style has certainly changed -- in the 1970s, it was cool for a woman to have ‘unkempt’ hair down there; today, she would never go on a date without waxing first (or at least shaving). These days, even men are known to trim things up in that area.

It can be hard to discuss even with your partner, let alone friends or family. Still the questions remain. So, here’s a little insight when it comes to five of the most commonly asked questions regarding pubic hair.

1. Why do we have it?

Even the experts can’t agree on this one. Warmth? Maybe. But then it would make sense for it to be on the shaft of the penis. To trap pheromones? Perhaps. But even without it, the pheromones still manage to do their job. To keep germs out? Could be. But then it should probably be present at the tip of the penis too. Evolution is a funny thing. Maybe we did need it at one time. But these days, no one has proved it to be a necessity.

2. Why do some choose to leave it be?

Some people prefer the natural look and feel, and there’s not a thing wrong with that. It’s certainly easier, of course, as it doesn’t require the maintenance and care that trimming, shaving and waxing do. Folks who prefer this look and feel often say that anything else seems fake -- or even bizarre. Some people take particular issue with the complete removal of the hair, as it leaves the person looking, to their mind, pre-pubescent. Followers also often say that the natural look adds to a natural musk of sorts that can develop when the hair is there, something that people either love or hate. But, the truth of the matter is, it’s all about personal preference.

3. Why do others choose to trim, shave or wax it?

One reason to trim, shave or wax some or all of the hair is purely for aesthetic reasons. There are men and women alike who simply prefer a manicured look. Some argue that this preference is based on pornography, which often portrays this look. But that’s really a question of whether life imitates art or art imitates life, you know? But, regardless of the impetus, tending the hedges has simply become part of our culture, just as it is not a part of other cultures throughout the world.

Of course, looks are not the only reason the bare or nearly bare look has garnered popularity. It’s also because it allows direct access to one’s naughty bits both for solo and partner play. A tongue, a touch, or a toy on bare skin creates a much different -- and many argue far better -- sensation than one that results when the natural look is sported. Some women say they really enjoy how it feels during the day to be bare, saying it makes them feel sexier and experience more sensation that inspires a desire for even more sensation when they get home. (If you get my drift).

Some also suggest that a man’s “package” appears larger when it is free of hair…

4. How do I tell my partner I'd like him or her to try a new ‘do’ or that I'd like to try something new myself?

It can be tough to talk to your partner about wanting to change the look of your personal ‘do’ or wanting them to change theirs. The key is to come at it from a place of “I” and to assure your partner that it has nothing at all to do with how much you love them and being intimate with them. It’s simply something you’d like to explore.

Here are some suggestions:

• “Honey, I would like to get a Brazilian wax. I love having sex with you and I’m curious what it would be like if you could see and feel me without distraction.”
• “Sweetheart, I was wondering if you’ve ever considered trimming, shaving or waxing your nether regions. I think it could be really sexy. And even if either or both of us don’t end up preferring it, it certainly would be a fun experiment!”

The point is to keep the conversation light and assure that it really is just about something as simple as hair and not about control or other deeper issues.

5. So, what are the options?

The sky’s the limit, my friends. Some people simply tidy things up. Others wax it bare. Some people take care of business themselves. Others go to spas or salons that will take care of the dirty work. Women sometimes leave a small patch of hair in a shape as simple as a triangle or a thin line. (The latter of which is commonly called a Brazilian). Others get various designs shaved into their pubic hair.

Believe it or not, there are even dyes made specifically for pubic hair. Do not, however, use bleach or any product designed for the hair on your head.

You can even decorate around the hair or where the hair once was with a practice called Vajazzling, where crystals in various designs are glued to the skin.

The bottom line is this -- it’s yours, it grows back; and no one has to see it but you and those you choose to show it to. So, there’s no reason not to do whatever turns you on. Besides, what a fun and sexy little way to express yourself and a great secret to carry with you and keep you feeling in the mood! ( foxnews.com )

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What is your ultimate status symbol?

World's most expensive dog at $1.5m - What is your ultimate status symbol? An expensive car, a duplex apartment or bungalow? Maybe even expensive jewellery and designer clothes. But that is not so in China.

What is your ultimate status symbol? An expensive car, a duplex apartment or bungalow? Maybe even expensive jewellery and designer clothes. But apparently, that is not so in China.

We hear that an ancient breed of dog is the highest status symbol for rich Chinese.

London's Daily Telegraph yesterday reported of an 11-month-old Tibetan mastiff male puppy that has gained the title of the world's most expensive dog!

'Big Splash' was bought for 10 million yuan ($1.5 million) by a wealthy Chinese coal baron.

DID YOU KNOW? Genghis Khan is believed to have had kept Tibetan Mastiffs as pets too.

According to a Tibetan Mastiff breeder, Kathryn Hay, the dogs are a very untouched, unspoilt breed. "They can be great pets but you have to be a strong owner because they're not overly domesticated," she says. The interesting thing about this breed is that even though their size is substantial, they don't eat too much. Traditionally used as guard dogs, that trait is still seen today, but they are also fond of lazing around.

Makes you wonder about the value of money, doesn't it? What are your thoughts? If you had the money to spend, would you keep a $1.5 million dog for a pet? ( yahoo.com )

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Sexual assault of American women soldiers on the rise

Sexual assault of American women soldiers on the rise - In a bid to address sexual crimes within the American defence forces more effectively, the United States Air Force will release a survey later this week in which it states that one in five women have been sexually assaulted since joining the military service.

The survey conducted by Gallup, interviewed 18,834 male and female airmen between July and August 2010 and had a response rate of nearly 19 percent.

Experts say the results, which will be published on the Air Force website will be important for the Air Force and the entire military, as top officials will be forced to acknowledge and confront the scope of the problem for the first time.

Charlene Bradley, an air force assistant deputy for force management integration said: " If we're ever going to get to the point where we know how much progress we're making or not making, our leadership has to find out the extent of the problem," adding that the Air Force leadership was "very concerned" when they reviewed the survey's findings.

She added: "They were concerned before, but they were very concerned when they saw this."

According to the military sexual assault includes a number of things including "sexual contact without consent." Out of the 18.9 percent of the female airmen who reported having been assaulted, 58 percent said that they had been raped and 20 percent said they had been sodomized, which the military defines as nonconsensual oral or anal sex.

It is expected to serve as a new base for tracking the crime. The survey is likely to be conducted every 18 to 24 months, says Bradley.

The survey has brought out that a majority of assaults were against women, nearly 80 percent and the perpetrators are fellow US service members.

Bradley says: "The survey was designed to help the Air Force evaluate its prevention programs to find out "how much progress we're making or not making."

The survey makes it clear that only a small percentage of victims reported the crimes and in order to control this it was important to change this fact.

A majority of those who were victims of unwanted sex said they did not think it was serious enough to report.

Nearly 60 percent of women who were raped said they did not want their superiors to know and 63 percent, said they did not want their fellow airmen to know." Nearly half said that they did not want to cause trouble in their unit, The Christian Science Monitor reports.

To overcome this problem, the Air Force is making large scale efforts on a bystander training program as the findings suggest that many victims of assault do tell a friend or fellow airmen, whether they officially report the crime or not.

Bradley said that the Air Force has full-time trained sexual assault response coordinators (SARCs), at every base, as well as volunteer victim advocates.

David Lisak, sexual assault specialist and clinical psychologist at the University of Massachusetts, Boston said that the Air Force is also focusing on better training for military lawyers who in many cases have little experience compared to the specialized civilian sexual-assault defense lawyers that many alleged perpetrators hire. ( news.yahoo.com )

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Five things you should know about lost love

1. Not everyone has a lost love.

Dr. Nancy Kalish surveyed 1,600 random people who had no idea she was a reunion researcher. The vast majority had never tried and didn't even want to contemplate a reunion with their first loves. In fact, three-quarters said they were not interested. Some even wrote comments like, ``Hell, no! Who would want to do that?'' in the margins of the survey.

What was the difference between those who carried a torch for decades and those who said they wouldn't dream of getting back together? Many who rekindled their relationships later in life had broken up because of parental disapproval, because they were too young to get married, or because they had moved away. In the control group, the explanation for the first breakup were ``other'' reasons, such as abuse or infidelity. In these cases, the first love served as a model of the kind of person not to marry.

2. Men take longer to get over lost love.

Kalish's surveys asked both men and women how long it took them to get over their lost loves. Her responses suggested that men took much longer. Some of the men were not even satisfied with the survey choices, which included ``over 10 years.'' Only men crossed out all the choices and wrote, ``I never got over my lost love!''

Many men also reported crying for weeks after they broke up with a high- school sweetheart. While more women post comments on her website, www. lostlovers.com, Kalish has more male subscribers.


3. People carry memories of lost young love into their golden years.

More than half of Kalish's rekindlers reported reuniting with people they knew when they were under 17 years old. More than a quarter of the remaining rekindlers had reconnected with people they knew when they were 18 to 22. Some even reported reuniting with childhood friends.

When they reunited, 37 per cent were in their 40s and 50s, 10 per cent were in their 60s and 70s and four per cent were 80 or older. In one case, lost loves who had been separated for 75 years were remarried on the woman's 95th birthday.

By 2005, when Kalish was in the second part of her research, she noted that two-thirds of her participants were having extramarital affairs - even the seniors. Often, these relationships started with people who were divorced or widowed, who then contacted old flames who were still married. But Kalish also found that seniors were more likely to feel guilty or shameful about seeking out an old love.


4. There is no biological explanation for the ``stickiness'' of first love.

There is no neurological or chemical chain of events that means there will always be a link between first loves, says Kalish. Neither is first love like ``imprinting'' ducklings, who become attached to their mother, or whatever moving objects happens to be closest to them in their first two days of life. If that were true, everyone's high-school sweethearts would be considered lost loves, and her surveys show that most people wouldn't even consider approaching their first romantic partners. There are a lot of teen couples who get married and then divorce, she points out.

Kalish has a simpler explanation. Reunions are most often successful if the couple was together during their formative years, if they dated a year or more, and had shared experiences, such as school or a circle or friends. Some of her rekindlers had reunions with old friends, not former sweethearts.


5. ``Puppy love'' can be real love.

Kalish advises parents against belittling teen love as ``puppy love.'' Many of her rekindlers broke up in the first place because their parents simply did not like the sweethearts.

``They were not in unhealthy relationships. Their parents had an unhealthy confusion of love and sex, worried that their teens' love had to be sexual,'' says Kalish.

Parents also tend to believe in the myth that teens should play the field, she says. But people don't learn intimacy by walking away and finding a ``better'' partner. ``That way, no one satisfies them, ultimately.''

Her advice: Unless the teen's sweetheart is abusive or dealing drugs, leave him or her alone.

``Young teens should be able to go out in a mixed group without parents getting upset, and a preteen who says she is `going with' someone may just mean they hold hands in the hallway and walk to class together.'' ( Postmedia News )

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