Bonding with your baby - Through my time observing playgroups, I have had the opportunity to monitor the relationships between mother and child. Some mothers react intuitively in a way that smoothens their child’s progress through life while others seem to clash constantly with their child. Some mothers enjoy their children while others find childcare a hard duty, and at worst, a hassle, especially during the formative years. Let me tell you that if you give yourself the time to make childhood magical, your children will love you forever and go on to have balanced, happy lives.
Primary bond
Many psychologists believe that a baby has an instinctive need to bond with one primary carer. They believe that if they don’t form a strong bond with their primary carer, then they will encounter psychological problems in later life.
The mother who takes the time to bond with her baby gives him/her the greatest gift of all: the first secure loving interaction upon which all other relationships will be based. Self esteem, security, self-love and an ability to live life to the fullest potential all stem from this.
Baby bonding ensures a loving relationship between mother and child that will endure with love through all the major changes in life. It will ensure that the love between mother and child grows and withstands the pressures of teenage years, as well as all the life enhancing changes that a new life brings — a love to be sure of when you are truly bonded with your child. All the work involved in child rearing becomes a labor of love.
There is a natural understanding of your child’s needs and feelings; you are in step with your child and can respond to and recognize their cries. When you become bonded with your baby, the baby’s psychological needs are being met, and that child will grow up with love and acceptance that only a stable relationship can bring. You also need to ensure bonding with the father, siblings and extended family.
How Bonding Takes Place
Start Early: From the moment your baby is born, he/she will want to be close to you, and early on he/she will gaze at your face with love. Your baby will try to communicate with you with jerking movements, nodding and/or mouth movements. He/she will feel secure with your smell, the sound of your voice and the touch of your skin. He/she will be happiest with his/her head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat. Within a few weeks, your baby will be able to pick you out from all others and will love you unconditionally and completely.
Joint Communication
Your baby needs your attention, one to one, with both of you focusing on the same task, which psychologists call joint communication. Freely give your baby time and attention, teaching him/her about real love, and you will already be sharing a moment together. You will find that your baby is so intuitive that he/she can tell if you are happy to share your time, or if you are miles away in your mind. Practice staying in the moment and take pleasure in caring for your child. Your baby is not a package with just physical needs; he/she has emotional needs too and you can bestow upon your child the gift of high self-esteem.
Breast-feeding
Breast milk is the best first food. However, it is not always easy and you need to ask for help with technique and be patient and strong, as it can be painful at first. Breast-feeding is a womanly art.
I remember the time when my youngest son was just three months old. I was up at the crack of dawn on Friday morning feeding him and thinking to myself how everyone else is still fast asleep. Yet, suddenly, the sun began to rise and the garden was bathed in a golden glow. I thought to myself what a privilege it was to be sharing the sunrise with this beautiful baby who loved me so much.
Becoming in tune with your baby
Research shows that if you bond with your baby, you are both off to a head start. Parenting is easier because you are in tune; you respond to your baby’s needs even before your baby starts to cry. You can predict his/her needs because you know your baby so well. When your baby feels secure, he/she will spend time without you and will feel free to be able to learn new skills. Babies who are not securely bonded can be anxious, will cry a lot and will want to be with you much of the time. They have not been able to develop trust in the world that they have just joined.
Naturally, all babies are different and have their own, varied personalities. However, a calm, contented and loving mother usually sends out the right messages to her baby. ( arabnews.com )
Primary bond
Many psychologists believe that a baby has an instinctive need to bond with one primary carer. They believe that if they don’t form a strong bond with their primary carer, then they will encounter psychological problems in later life.
The mother who takes the time to bond with her baby gives him/her the greatest gift of all: the first secure loving interaction upon which all other relationships will be based. Self esteem, security, self-love and an ability to live life to the fullest potential all stem from this.
Baby bonding ensures a loving relationship between mother and child that will endure with love through all the major changes in life. It will ensure that the love between mother and child grows and withstands the pressures of teenage years, as well as all the life enhancing changes that a new life brings — a love to be sure of when you are truly bonded with your child. All the work involved in child rearing becomes a labor of love.
There is a natural understanding of your child’s needs and feelings; you are in step with your child and can respond to and recognize their cries. When you become bonded with your baby, the baby’s psychological needs are being met, and that child will grow up with love and acceptance that only a stable relationship can bring. You also need to ensure bonding with the father, siblings and extended family.
How Bonding Takes Place
Start Early: From the moment your baby is born, he/she will want to be close to you, and early on he/she will gaze at your face with love. Your baby will try to communicate with you with jerking movements, nodding and/or mouth movements. He/she will feel secure with your smell, the sound of your voice and the touch of your skin. He/she will be happiest with his/her head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat. Within a few weeks, your baby will be able to pick you out from all others and will love you unconditionally and completely.
Joint Communication
Your baby needs your attention, one to one, with both of you focusing on the same task, which psychologists call joint communication. Freely give your baby time and attention, teaching him/her about real love, and you will already be sharing a moment together. You will find that your baby is so intuitive that he/she can tell if you are happy to share your time, or if you are miles away in your mind. Practice staying in the moment and take pleasure in caring for your child. Your baby is not a package with just physical needs; he/she has emotional needs too and you can bestow upon your child the gift of high self-esteem.
Breast-feeding
Breast milk is the best first food. However, it is not always easy and you need to ask for help with technique and be patient and strong, as it can be painful at first. Breast-feeding is a womanly art.
I remember the time when my youngest son was just three months old. I was up at the crack of dawn on Friday morning feeding him and thinking to myself how everyone else is still fast asleep. Yet, suddenly, the sun began to rise and the garden was bathed in a golden glow. I thought to myself what a privilege it was to be sharing the sunrise with this beautiful baby who loved me so much.
Becoming in tune with your baby
Research shows that if you bond with your baby, you are both off to a head start. Parenting is easier because you are in tune; you respond to your baby’s needs even before your baby starts to cry. You can predict his/her needs because you know your baby so well. When your baby feels secure, he/she will spend time without you and will feel free to be able to learn new skills. Babies who are not securely bonded can be anxious, will cry a lot and will want to be with you much of the time. They have not been able to develop trust in the world that they have just joined.
Naturally, all babies are different and have their own, varied personalities. However, a calm, contented and loving mother usually sends out the right messages to her baby. ( arabnews.com )
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